[l2g name=”” id=”873″]Most people judge themselves more harshly than they judge others. We are intimately familiar with our own flaws and shortcomings because we have full access to every thought and deed.
We tend to give others the benefit of the doubt while denying it to our self.
Does this benefit us?
Does this benefit our family?
What about society. Does this hesitancy to forgive our self benefit society?
The truth is that it does not benefit us, our family, or society.
If I regret a past action that means the person I am in that moment is not someone who would make the same decision as the one I am regretting.
Essentially, I am beating myself up for who I used to be instead of celebrating what I learned from the experience that allowed me to become a person who would make a different decision.
I’ve learned something from the experience. I have become more.
The same is true of anyone else who is regretting something from the past. I had a wonderful interaction in a store with a stranger who was “born again” but whose church kept focusing on how she should beat herself up about who she once was. She was praising the Lord loudly every minute or two when I went into this antique shop and my first thought was that I would stay away from her, but we ended up having a wonderful conversation. She shared her history briefly and I could tell she was not that person any longer and had not been that person for quite a while, yet the pain she was in from having been that person at one time was palpable. I helped her see she was no longer that person because that person would not regret what she had once been. Her relief was palpable. It was a brief encounter yet we changed one anothers’ lives. She helped me see that even someone I might perceive as “she’s going to preach at me” if I let her near was someone with whom I could have a great interaction and learn from as well as uplift.
Also, when you understand the negative ramifications of the negative emotion directed at self when you don’t forgive self, you’ll hasten to forgive self. Not doing so greatly increases the chances you’ll have more to regret later.
Negative emotions produce biochemical reactions in our bodies that make our immune system less effective, disrupt our digestive function making weight management more difficult and increasing the risk of developing diabetes, the chronic stress load interferes with the body’s ability to appropriately time when a baby should be born resulting in preterm births and even when the pregnancy lasts until term, children who have more asthma, sleep and behavioral problems and depression prior to age 16. Our relationships are less than they could be. Our cognitive function decreases with negative emotion.
The price you, your family, and society pays for your refusal to forgive yourself is probably higher than you realize.
Also, when you understand how behavior and emotional state are intertwined with better behaviors stemming from better feeling emotions, your motivation to feel as good (emotionally) as you can increases. You know you’ll be naturally kinder, and have better relationships when you feel good than when you don’t feel good.
Give yourself the gift of forgiveness this holiday season.
For more techniques on defusing stressful thoughts so you can relax and enjoy life more , try one of my books.
I really appreciate that you are reading my post and hope it provided value to you. On LinkedIn, I regularly write about Happiness, Stress Reduction, Human Thriving, Primary Prevention, Health and Wellness, and more. If you would like to read my regular posts then please click ‘Follow’ (at the top of the page) and feel free to also connect with me via Twitter, Facebook and Goodreads. Please consider sharing this information with your network if you found it valuable, they may also find value in what I have written.
Here are other posts I have written for LinkedIn Pulse:
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- The Key Ingredient Your Corporate Wellness Program Needs is Missing
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- Are You Hoping Your Anger Punishes the Person You’re Angry With?
- No Matter Where You Go, There You Are
- Have you said something nice today?
- Happiness and Stress are two ends of the same Continuum
- Is Happiness Wrong? What Do You Think?
- The Future of Health Care: True Prevention
- Workplace Bullying: Healthy Workplace Legislation
- Empathy or Better?
- Employee Stress, Employer Risk?
- Could Anger Derail your Career?…from Coach to Defensive Coordinator?
- Stress Kills:Happiness Heals
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- Calling, Career, or Job: does it matter?
- Does Stress Destroy Your Holidays?
- Are Your Thoughts Lying to You?
- Do You Ever Worry That Someone You Care About Will Harm Him or Her Self?
- Are You an Adult?
- Prevent Suicide: The Smart Way
I wish for you many blissings. (Blissings = blissful blessings)
About : Jeanine Joy Jeanine Joy is an inspiring and life-changing author, speaker, and scholar. The purpose of her life is to seek out knowledge that increases human thriving, create explanations and processes that provide practical ways for individuals adopt strategies that enhance their lives. Her programs, books, and speeches empower people to fulfill their dreams and enjoy more loving, happy, and successful lives. Her ultimate goal is to help create a better world for everyone on Earth.
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