Tag Archive: negativity

Stressed Employees and Business Owners

Stressed employees and business ownersStressed employees and business owners

Helping Stressed Employees and Business Owners

Most stress reduction techniques taught provide temporary improvements and are dose dependent (you have to repeatedly do them to get the benefit), much like medicines that treat symptoms instead of curing the problem.

Our program teaches skills that create mindsets that are more adaptable and that actually experience less stress than untrained minds in the same circumstances.

The changes become permanent and life is less stressful thereafter.

Lower stress means more engaged and productive employees. This is a competitive edge that keeps increasing.

Because we address stress relief from the root cause, the benefits spread throughout the system (physical, mental, behavioral).


We Cannot See Reality

Does reality seem confusing?

Reality is fluid

We do not see reality. We see a filtered reality. Until this is understood, the rest of what we teach to help you thrive will not be accepted. We are taught that we see reality. We are taught that what we see is the same as what others see. Both of these are wrong. We each see our own unique reality. We merely assume others see the same reality we do.

If your response to this statement is disbelief, it would serve you well to loosen your belief that you perceive reality. This video will help you see that there are instances when you know your perception is not revealing the actual reality to you. The key is to realize that this is always true–it just is not usually as obvious.

Note: Despite the cover picture, this video is suitable for all audiences

After watching the video, ask yourself what other aspects of reality might not be as they seem. Ask yourself if you know the answer. Ask yourself if knowing the truth might help your life be more as you would like it to be.

There are filters that act below the level of conscious thought that greatly effect how your life plays out. They have immediate impacts on your health, relationships, success, and overall well-being. Your life can easily be much better than it is. Improvements come quickly when you learn how to adjust your filters, but they also build over time and continue even after your life is exceeding your current beliefs about what is possible for you. The better it gets, the better it gets.

If you would like information on our programs, please contact us for a list of upcoming programs or checkout the offerings or one of our founders books.


How to be in the Flow at Work

More Great Days at Work


You know those days when everything just seems to go well?  You feel good, you feel like you look good, inspirations come to you, the day just flows?

Think about those days. Aren’t they the ones when you feel happy?  The day when you have a smile on your face when you get out of bed for some reason, something you were thinking about that makes you feel happy, some event you are looking forward or an encounter with someone that you are remembering with pleasure or looking forward to?

Now think about the days that seem like Murphy’s Law “If it can go wrong, it will” would be an accurate description of the day. Aren’t those days the ones when you did not feel all that great when you started the day?  Sure, maybe you stubbed your toe, but even before then, were you thinking about having to do something you did not want to do or trying to figure out how to do something you wanted to do but did not think you could?

How happy you are impacts greatly the type of day you have, which impacts the type of week, month and year you have.

Most people believe that some people are just naturally inclined to happiness more than others but that is a myth. It is something society has reached a false conclusion upon and most people buy into it.

Happiness can be learned. I don’t say it can be taught because the student must do the work; no one can do it for them. But, if the student is willing and has a desire to be happier and a belief that it is possible anyone can learn to be happier.

How happy can someone learn to be?  Very, very happy, joyful even is quite possible and it does not matter where the student is when they begin. They can get there. The 2nd best news, after knowing that anyone can learn to be happier is that the life circumstances of the individual desiring to be happier do not matter in the level of happiness that can be achieved.

However, life circumstances can improve greatly when the person becomes happier.

Not only can greater levels of happiness be reached by learning how to be happier, they can be maintained at a higher set point than they were before the individual learned how to deliberately choose happiness.

Why would an employer care about the happiness of employees?  There are myriad reasons but two areas are of high importance to employers.

There is a scientifically documented positive correlation between employee happiness and productivity. There is also a scientifically documented correlation between happiness and wellness.

Employers want productive employees. They also want employees who come to work and employees who tend to be healthy. Happiness is far more effective than gym membership benefits and other wellness initiatives offered by many employers.

A happy employee who feels good and feels good about himself or herself does not need to be incented to be physically active. They will feel like doing those things because the idea of doing them will feel good to them in ways it does not feel good when they are not happy or do not have a good self image.

It is not necessary to have a model-perfect body to feel good about oneself. Someone who does not feel good about themselves has thoughts flowing through their mind like “Why should I bother?  I won’t get a date with _____ anyway” or “I am uncomfortable going to a gym because I don’t like being looked at and I don’t like what I think others think when they see me there.”

Someone who is happy will have very different thoughts. “It feels so good to move my body. I really enjoy coming here. I don’t know why I did not do this sooner but I am glad I am doing it now.”

One of the major changes learning to be happy creates is a switch in the thoughts we think.

Additionally, recently there were 17 states that had passed or had pending legislation to protect against work place bullying. The consistent aspect of the legislation is putting the onus on the employer to prevent such behavior. When we really think about this we realize that, except in the most egregious of situations, bullying is in the eye of the receiver. Unfortunately, the legislation is not seeing it from this angle and puts employers in a somewhat untenable situation. While a co-worker or even a boss could say something to a happy person and it would be perceived as that person trying to get their way, perhaps being pushy but certainly nothing to call Human Resources about much less hire an attorney over whereas another employee, perhaps one who generally feels like a victim, experiencing the same circumstances would feel very bullied. This legislation seems to put employers in a powerless situation.

However, helping employees learn to be happy can totally remove that “I am a victim, I am powerless” attitude toward life that some individuals have developed. This would directly impact how the individual would respond to the same circumstances which would reduce the likelihood of them feeling they had been bullied.

Another major benefit of happier employees is better customer interactions. Don’t you love it when the person who serves  you is happy?  Whether it is the waiter or waitress, the airline steward, the receptionist who takes your call, or anyone else you interact with?

Think about the impact on your business if your employees begin smiling more often with genuine smiles. Happy people tend to feel more caring toward others so customers would feel more genuine warmth when the employee asks “How are you?”  The benefits of happier employees are vast. Also, it is very difficult to complain about someone who is very pleasant to you, even if they happen to make a mistake the customer is more likely to not make a big deal about it as long as it is resolved.

I want to circle back to the beginning now. To those days that just go well. Don’t the good ideas just flow to you on those days?  Imagine managers who deliberately tune themselves to a happy state and have those days routinely. Where the solutions appear almost before the problem is fully known. Think how smoothly your business would run with managers like that. You don’t need new managers to have that; you just need the ones you have to learn to be happier.

The positive impact on your employees and your business are assured when your employees learn to be happier.

Why does anyone do anything?  In the final analysis, they do it because they believe it will make them feel better. Even the individual who goes to a job they hate every day does so because they feel better getting the paycheck than they would if they did not get the paycheck. 

Happiness is equal to the highest of human desires. Only being authentic and love rank as high as happiness in study after study. Happiness consistently outranks wealth, success, fame, status, attractiveness, sex, health, and enlightenment in the same studies.

Many studies are cited on our website. 

Classes are offered in person and on-line. Everyone who does the work and is willing to believe they can be happier will experience a sustainable increase in the level of their own happiness. Prices vary based on class size and method of delivery. In person classes away from the Charlotte, NC area are available for groups. Classes can also be designed with a mix of both in person and online delivery. Individualized coaching sessions are also available and can be very beneficial for anyone enduring severe situations including severe health issues. Attitude can be everything in successfully overcoming health issues and individual coaching can contribute greatly to a positive attitude. 

Negative Thoughts Kill Your Brain Cells

Negative Thoughts Kill (Brain Cells)

So many branches of science are demonstrating the benefit of positivity. Positive and optimistic thoughts are good for us — good for our health, our relationships, our success, and our very ability to think clearly.

I feel great appreciation for the scientists from so many different fields of study who have turned their attention to human thriving. Without their hard work and dedication I would not have been able to weave together a program that provides both the skills and knowledge needed for individuals to successfully think more positively.

I have heard that refrain for most of my life – “Be Positive” or “Look on the bright side” or “Don’t worry, be happy”?  It always sounded like good advice but I did not know how for a long time. As I learned how it became clear why so many people attempt to change in this area and fail — I learned the common reasons for not being successful and gathered the resources and knowledge necessary to overcome those common obstacles.

Information was gathered from countless bodies of knowledge. If it could contribute to the truth about how to create greater human thriving I was interested, passionately interested in understanding it.

The programs we offer stand on the shoulders of not one giant, but many giants who came before and without whom we would never have been able to create this magnificent program.

They have provided all the information necessary to help anyone thrive in ways they may have never believed possible. The program empowers individuals to succeed in their well-being, in their relationships, in their earthly pursuits, in following their passion, in understanding their purpose, in all that is important.

Today I happened upon another piece of the puzzle that I am going to share. I love it when science is presented in a clear manner that many people can relate to. I love the masterful way this material is presented. It starts out as if it is religious but it is not – any person of any faith, spiritual belief or atheism can find value in the message in this video.

But, as brilliant as the mind that created it is — he still includes a negative thought in his positive meditation – even though he intends for it to be a positive meditation. As he states, his deepest belief is compassion he pulls himself back to a negative thought by adding that he is not good at being compassionate. This makes it clear that even experts can gain by guidance — that learning to be positively focused takes both knowledge and skills. That is what we provide in our programs at Happiness 1st Institute.

Use the Contact Us area of our website to find out about the new and exciting classes that will help you build more brain cells as well as other products and services.

Kill Negative Self-Talk: Advice that actually works

ProzacTime for Advice that Works

I am in Pasadena, California to attend the Rose Bowl game and parade. I noticed an article in the well-being section of the local magazine titled “Quit Beating Yourself up over a Lousy Childhood.”  I am always interested in learning more methods of helping others thrive so I naturally read the article.

As is so often the case the reading left me not only disappointed but somewhat frustrated. It begins with a successful gentleman, Otis, who describes his current life as including a loving family and lady in his life but who often feels negative emotion related to his long ago childhood. He compounds the negative emotion by feeling guilty about feeling the negative emotion since he has a good life now. The response from the psychotherapist is accurate in the goal (stopping the negative self-talk) but provides no guidance about how to accomplish that goal.

There is little point in telling someone to stop doing a destructive behavior if they are not given guidance about how to stop that behavior. It is as unproductive as telling someone to ‘Think Positive’ without providing the knowledge and skills for them to successfully master the ability. In my opinion, such advice without knowledge and skills can actually compound the problem. When simply told to stop the negative self-talk or “think positively” an individual is likely to believe other are able to take that advice and successfully achieve the goal and think even less of themselves when they are unable to do so.

The truth is that our thoughts are habits – as much as any habit – good or bad are habits. Smoking is a habit. So is the way you greet and say good bye to loved ones – whether it involves heartfelt hugs, kisses and hello’s or casual attitudes that show one another that they are taken for granted.

There are many techniques that can change habits of thought and every individual is capable of far more control over these habits than most use. But without basic knowledge about how the mind works to reinforce existing habits of thought and proven techniques to change those habits an individual is not likely to succeed in changing.

Our programs teach many techniques that can successfully allow an individual to change their own habits of thought to ones that will enable them to thrive – often in ways they never imagined they could.

Often the first step is to stop believing everything you think. The knowledge we share about how the mind works and how it filters information received by the conscious mind helps an individual realize that more than truth plays into what they think. Once this awareness is gained it becomes far easier to use techniques to change to more productive habits of thought.

Refuting thoughts that do not serve you makes more sense when you realize that just because you think a thought does not mean it is true. Most people have given far too much credence to what other people think and say to them not realizing that others’ opinions always reflect far more about the one with the opinion than the subject of their opinion. In our programs we demonstrate this in ways that make it very apparent and allow individuals to give less power to harmful input from others.

One technique that can be effective (and far more effective once an individual understands key aspects of the functioning of minds) is to negate the negative self-talk. Looking for examples that demonstrate the lack of truth in the negative belief about oneself can eliminate the power of such thoughts. There are many other methods detailed in our programs.

Our goal is to help individuals thrive. Everyone, no matter how awful or wonderful their current life feels, can improve their experience.

We hope this article stimulates discussion. If this article stimulates thoughts, questions, or comments please post them below. The comments are moderated so they will not appear immediately. Comments and questions are taken seriously. By sharing them here rather than sending them by private mail you share with other readers and not just the author. All comments are read and all earnest questions are responded to. If you have something to say that truly applies only to you and me then send me an email. Please feel to share this article with others using the share buttons or by sending them a link to this page. Comments that are not related to the topic of this website or that are blatant advertisements are deleted to preserve the integrity of the site. We look forward to your feedback. If you would like to register for or are interested in additional information on our classes, one-on-one coaching, or speakers for your event please contact us. 


What will it take to Wake You Up?

What Will It Take to Wake You Up?

Positive emotions are required for your body to function at its peak performance.

Being stoic or tolerating being in a negative state of mind often is unhealthy.

The scientific evidence of this is clear.

We need to care for our bodies and part of caring for our bodies, even more important to their health than whether or not we smoke, is that we enjoy positive emotions often.

Are you still harboring resentment towards a long ago wrong?

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.” – Buddha

Are you holding on to feelings of not being loved enough at some point in your life?  That part of your life is over and only your thoughts about it are keeping it alive.

Are you refusing to forgive, believing that they do not deserve your forgiveness?  The one you benefit by your forgiveness is you.

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” – Lewis B. Smedes

Are you loving yourself?  The often quoted verse is “Love thy neighbor as thyself” but many people treat themselves worse than they would their worst enemy in the conversations they have in their own minds and in the mirror. Remember to love yourself. You really cannot love others if you do not love and accept yourself.

You do not have to judge yourself as lacking to decide to improve or change something about yourself. It is perfectly acceptable to be fine as you are and decide to improve something to make yourself even better. Self acceptance means you recognize that you are evolving and becoming throughout life. If you are not all that you desire to be today there is always tomorrow when you will be more than you are today.

Do you spend your commute time angry at the situation?  You can make it enjoyable with a little thought and effort.

Do you go to a job you hate every day?  There has to be some aspect you can focus upon that will feel better to you.

Decisions are powerful. We can show you the decisions you can make – without any circumstances changing – that will help you be happier. Circumstances have a way of changing to match your state of happiness.

Science has shown that happiness contributes positively to good health, to success and to good relationships.

Ask us how we can help you by contacting us. We have answers that address the root causes and result in real progress towards your dreams, desires, and goals.

We hope this article stimulates discussion. If this article stimulates thoughts, questions, or comments please post them below. The comments are moderated so they will not appear immediately. Comments and questions are taken seriously. By sharing them here rather than sending them by private mail you share with other readers and not just the author. All comments are read and all earnest questions are responded to. If you have something to say that truly applies only to you and me then send me an email. Please feel to share this article with others using the share buttons or by sending them a link to this page. Comments that are not related to the topic of this website or that are blatant advertisements are deleted to preserve the integrity of the site. We look forward to your feedback. If you would like to register for or are interested in additional information on our classes, one-on-one coaching, or speakers for your event please contact us.