Tag Archive: cure

Your Choice: Separation or Connection

You Get to Choose: Separation or Connection

The Importance of Understanding Our Connection

Whenever someone focuses upon an atrocity that has happened to someone who belongs to a group that they associate themselves as a member of and they express more outrage than they would at the atrocity happening to anyone or feel more outrage than they would if the individual(s) impacted were of another group you know two things are going on.

The first is that they are coming from a place of fear. Fear that the same could occur to them or their loved ones.

Second, that they do not view themselves as connected to All That Is and to everyone and everything. They are taking a more narrow view and defining themselves as a member of a smaller group, but not as a member of humanity as a whole.

This results in great attention being placed upon some acts and less upon others.

None of these actions lessens future atrocities.

What will lessen future atrocities is for more people to feel the connection that we each have with one another. For each of us to look for those qualities we can relate to in one another rather than the differences.

We are more alike than we seem.

When we allow our emotions to take a nosedive, we move further away from the possibility of harmony that is possible among everyone.

Science has shown that racism lessens when people are happy and increases when they are unhappy.

When tensions rise, rather it be based upon race, religious beliefs, gender, or other traits that are so often used to feel separate from others, we actually move further away from what is desired which is peace and harmony.

If we begin to understand this and stop the cycle of allowing negative emotions to increase the feeling of separation, if we begin to look for points of harmony, for ways to be closer, we can make the disharmony a distant memory.

The next time you find yourself moving into negative emotions over something that is separating yourself from others, stop and ask yourself what your long term goals are. Do you want humanity to live in peace? Do you want your children and children’s children to feel that same discord or do you want them to feel a part of a wonderful loving humanity? If you focus upon your longer-term goals you can feel in your gut when you are moving toward them or away from them. If you want the future to hold more evidence of love between all peoples, examine your thoughts when you encounter a situation. If your thoughts feel worse in your gut you are moving away from your true desires. Try to move to thoughts that are more general. Try thoughts such as “This is an isolated incident. Most people never experience anything like this.” See if that feels better. Then try thoughts such as “We are all connected, on the quantum level there is no separation. This will actually help society increase our desire for wholeness. We can use this to help us focus on what we want. This has helped clarify what we do not want. Let’s turn our attention to what we do want. We always move in the direction of where our attention is focused. I choose to move toward a more loving world.” See if those thoughts don’t feel better in your gut. If you are ready, you can even take it to an even better place. “There are already people who have achieved a feeling of connection with the whole of humanity. Their numbers are growing and I want people like that in my life. That is where I want to head. Our connection is what I want my children to feel.”

Please spread the above as far and as wide as you are inspired to share the words. This wisdom has been with all humankind throughout the ages as the quotes below reflect. Deep within each of us, we all know their truth. Modern technology gives us the opportunity to spread this wisdom to more conscious minds than ever before. The potential transformation to a world of peace has never been closer.

Candles along the path to peace have become spotlights illuminating the night. Look and you will find.

~ Jeanine Joy, April 15, 2012, Lombard, IL

“When you see love, you are being informed by the eternal you.
This is the source that created the Universe. Let the eternal you guide your awakening.
If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself.
If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself.
Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.”

~ Lao Tzu

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought.
If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him.
If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.”

~ Buddha

” You cannot find someone, even if they deserve it, as your enemy and stay Connected with who you are at the same time, because your Source will not take sides like that. No one can stay connected to Source Energy, and push hard against someone else. There are these battles that are fought in the name of “God”, and all of these prayers that say, “God is on our side,” and we say, god is not on your side, nor is god on the side of those who fight against you. god does not take those sides.”

~ Abraham

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”

~ Mohandas Gandhi

“Love is deeply nourishing.
Like oxygen, it is essential for life.
The emotions of hatred and fear are poisons that literally stop us in our tracks.
They paralyze us, physically halting energy production at a cellular level.
We are not meant to hate.”

~ Marcey Shapiro, M.D.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Each man should frame life so that at some future hour fact and his dreaming meet.”

~ Victor Hugo

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer.
Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”

~ Harriet Tubman

“It takes someone with a vision of the possibilities to attain new levels of experience.
Someone with the courage to live his dreams.”

~ Les Brown

“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you”

~ Luke 6:27

“The worshipers of the All-Merciful are they who tread gently upon the earth, and when the ignorant address them, they reply, “Peace!”

~ Qur’an 25:63

“Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind.”

- Bob Marley

“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent.
It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.”

- Albert Einstein

“Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.”

~ Psalm 34:14

Small communities grow great through harmony, great ones fall to pieces through discord.

~ Sallust

I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments.
Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it.

- Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890-1969)

“Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.” ~ Romans 12:17
Each and every master, regardless of the era or the place, heard the call and attained harmony with heaven and earth.
There are many paths leading to the top of Mount Fuji, but there is only one summit - love.

~ Morihei Ueshiba

© 2012-2014 by Joy. (Happiness1st.com)

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Bullying: Negate Harmful Long-Term Effects

Bullying: Negate Harmful Long-Term Effects

A new study by Duke Medicine highlights something we already knew would be true: bullying has potential negative long-term psychological impacts on both the bullied individual and the bully.

Jeanine Joy’s upcoming book, Stress Kills: Happiness Heals highlights the link between emotional state and behavior. We also understand:

  • How to mitigate the negative long-term psychological impacts for both the victim and the bully.
  • How to facilitate post traumatic growth.
  • How to build the bridge between the mental outlook of victim to a stronger and surer mindset that portrays inner strength that is authentic, and
  • How to help a bully find more socially acceptable behaviors and address the underlying bad feeling emotions that lead to bullying in the first place.

The potential psychological impacts of being bullied and being a bully, according to Duke’s study, include a higher risk for psychiatric disorders than those with no history of being bullied, higher risk of depressive disorders, anxiety disorders, panic disorders. Those who were bullied but did not bully were at risk of agoraphobia while those who were bullies and victims also had the highest level of suicidal thoughts and were at increased risk for antisocial personality disorder.

But just like situations, individual results vary. At Happiness 1st Institute, our work has been to investigate what causes thriving in spite of negative life events and build bridges to increase thriving in the world. Our focus has placed us in the perfect position to address this issue and take meaningful steps to prevent the negative long-term impacts of negative life events like being bullied and of bullying.

Our understanding of the link between emotional state and behavior also gives us insights into tools that can help the bully (and potential bully) make adjustments that can prevent that sort of behavior from beginning (or end it if it has already started). We can also empower potential victims so that they are less likely to be bullied and so that they have emotionally healthier responses even if they are.

Jeanine Joy developed an anti-bullying program that has provided some amazing results. Suitable for both middle and high school environments. She provides programs to schools at a much lower cost than her usual fee and can also do work using grant funds via the non-profit (Achieve Affinity) she co-founded to expand her work into areas that cannot afford her services through Happiness 1st Institute.

The answers exist. It is time to use that wisdom to make the world a better place for all. Let us help. Contact us today.

 


The Real Solution to Undesired Behaviors

Why I don’t focus on helping one group

The knowledge I’ve gained in my journey has benefits that can be applied in so many ways. I think the ways are actually endless.

My work might appeal to more people if I structured the programs with narrower names or missions.

There are many programs that grab attention because they are aimed at helping “Politically Correct” groups. Programs designed to help women and/or girls. Programs designed to help the economically disadvantaged or other groups—there are too many sub-groups to even begin listing them.

But every time I see something that focuses on one group, it feels to me as if they are pushing against other groups.

I just saw what looked like a fantastic program to help women and girls but within the description it spoke about a program to help boys and men learn not to treat women and girls badly.

At its essence, it is divisive. It feels “off” to me.

It does not recognize that someone who mistreats another is unhappy. If that person were happier, they would not do as they are doing. Behavior is tied to emotional stance and no amount of education about “proper” behavior will change that basic truth. When we address the root-the emotional state-we will see the progress we seek.

The solutions to all social problems is a better world for all.

The person who mistreats another is not someone who is in an emotionally good state of mind.

If someone is being a bully they are in emotional pain. They would not treat another that way if they were in a good emotional state of mind.

For anyone who feels good emotionally it feels worse to treat another poorly. But when someone feels emotionally bad, especially if they feel powerless, they can feel somewhat better by asserting power over another. It is not the preferred path to feeling better and it will never take anyone all the way to joy, but it can offer relief from a totally powerless state of mind. We need to understand this, as a society, a world society, and give the knowledge and tools to all.

We need to give both the aggressors and the victims tools to move from low and powerless feeling emotional states to more empowered states of mind. Knowledge and tools that allow them to move in the direction of feeling better in socially acceptable ways is the solution will solve the problem.

Continuing to create divisiveness is not the solution. It may bring temporary ease to many who need it but it will not eliminate the problem. We could be giving permanent solutions with the same resources.